I have to admit the first time someone mentioned that Gary would need a tracheostomy I just imagined that as some kind of "sentence" but it has been sweet relief for Gary, even though he still is unable to speak. I had no idea how difficult reading lips was and we are finding out that so many sounds are formed in a very similar fashion. We joked about the fact that it is difficult enough to do this lip reading thing but then when one of the lips is concealed by a big, unruly mustache it makes it nearly impossible! Anyone who knows how Gary feels about his facial hair will be surprised when I tell you he asked me to trim his mustache. Me? " I don't know nothin' about trimmin' no facial hair". Ever the consummate coward I asked Dana (one of our daughters)to do it and she actually did a very good job. One more item for the resume' Dana.
We have asked specifically for prayer regarding Gary's breathing. They have done some breathing trials, turning the ventilator to a cpap function which requires him to initiate and continue the breaths, but the vent provides a "boost". Have I mentioned yet that I have kind of a love hate relationship with the neurologists (plural,we are on the 3rd one). I love that they are brilliant and taking wonderful care of Gary, I hate that I cannot really connect with them on any kind of human level. Tuesday the neurologist of the week informed me that if Gary did not start making strides in breathing on his own he would be transferred to a "vent facility" in Milwaukee. Yikes that was compassionate. I understand that Gary is not in critical condition but he didn't even offer to buy me a cup of coffee to help the medicine go down.(Mac, seriously think about pediatrics).
We have asked specifically for prayer regarding Gary's breathing. They have done some breathing trials, turning the ventilator to a cpap function which requires him to initiate and continue the breaths, but the vent provides a "boost". Yesterday, he was off the vent, receiving only humidified oxygen for about 30 minutes. And he was off today a substantial portion of the day sat in the chair for a couple hours 2 times. This is a big day for someone with a severe case a GBS and he is pooped, really pray he will sleep well tonight.
Tuesday was a rough day, not to be redundant but the neurology staff does not really subscribe to "feel good" medicine. Truthfully, I don't need much, dangle a carrot in front of my nose. It doesn't have to be the giant Bugs Bunny variety of carrot, I will settle for a baby carrot, even those shaved down, less than a half of a bite carrot. I don't need much.
When I read that I realize that I don't even need a mini carrot from a neurologist to give me hope, I am in close communion with the giver of all hope, God.
I tell people all the time that I am not looking out much into the future or what that is going to look like, all I am doing is the "next thing". Truth is I probably say it 100 times a day. Today, in my devotional from Sarah Young, the first sentence is "Follow me one step at a time, that is all I require of you". These daily reminders that God has not blinked, we are still on his radar. The truth is, it is NEVER God who falters, it is me.
Last night before I went to sleep Kara (daughter by marriage) called after she and Christian visited with Gary. I know she could hear the exhaustion is my voice as I told her I just wanted to sleep. This morning she sent me this text: "Woke up in the middle of the night and felt compelled to pray for you. numbers 19:23 came to mind. A promise I have relied on for years...God is not man that He should lie, nor human that he should change His mind". And Bam folks there it is, the complete truth of how we can stand on God's promises to be faithful and present and for us and infinite other divine characteristics. EL ROI "The strong one who sees."
"Because of God's great love, we are not consumed" Lamentation 3:22
I Remain,
Relentless after Him
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